


I Am Worthless

by MsSayomi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drug Abuse, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Physical Abuse, Prostitution, Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-10-06
Packaged: 2017-12-26 15:20:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/967520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsSayomi/pseuds/MsSayomi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a first set up chapter. This chapter will be short but the next one will be much longer and detailed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Usual

“I’ll be back in a minute,” the man whispered into my ear. I have already forgotten his name and the reality of the situation didn’t sink in until after he went into the motel bathroom. I laid on the lumpy bed, my face emotionless and my hair a mess. His sperm stained the God awful floral print sheets. God I hate this fucking job. I wanted to die more than anything. 

 

I looked to the right at my red dress on the ground. A mouse scattered across it, and I sighed in disgust. I couldn’t complain about the conditions, I was a prostitute after all. I deserved what was presented to me. The overweight, ugly man came from the bathroom with an evil grin of sorts painted on his face. 

 

“Here’s your fucking money,” the man growled. He went into his bag next to the wood nightstand and threw a fifty dollar bill at me. I didn’t just have horrible sex to not be paid in full.

 

“Where’s the rest of my money?” I asked the man, politely, of course. 

 

“That’s all I’m giving you, you filthy slut now scram,” the man stated without glancing towards me. 

 

“I’m not leaving here without my fucking hundred dollars.” 

 

“Look bitch, ask me again and I won’t be nice.” 

 

“Money. Now.” I demanded. Fuck, I pushed him too far. The man, whose name was neither remembered or relevant, walked towards me. His hand came in contact with my face and his foot kicked me off the bed. I was naked, vulnerable, and scared. It wasn’t the first time a man hit me. It sure wasn’t going to be the last so i should get fucking used to it. His naked body hovered over me as he spit in my face.

 

I should’ve got up and punched him in the face. I should’ve defended myself but something in the back of my mind told me I was not worth it. Can you believe that? I’m not worth saving myself. He grinned once more before shoving his penis in my mouth. I wanted to cry. Not again please not again. This always happens. Tears streamed down my cheeks and my heart began beating faster and faster. 

 

He moved his penis in and out of my mouth while grabbing onto my hair to hold my head up. I am worthless. I am trash. I am nothing. He knows it. I know it. I get what I deserve. As if he enjoyed my pain, the man laughed the whole time. Content with himself, he spit in my eye again during the process. This torture seemed endless. He finally took his penis out of my mouth for the last time then ejculated on my naked body. The man was not fat or thin. Wasn’t tall or short. He was just average. He could’ve been anyone and that’s the thing. Before I could finish my thought, he slapped me one more time. 

 

“Get the fuck out.” He yelled into my ear as if I was hard of hearing. I grabbed my clothes, purse, and money then ran out the motel room. I ran to the nearest alley and put on my clothes. My cheek still stung from the slap. The man was heavy handed, but it’s all over and I must get on with business.

 

x---------------------------------------------------

 

The night was young. I walked back to my usual corner as the autumn breeze brushed against my bare arms and legs. My dress was short and not right for this weather. The slight sparkes weaved within it, sparkled under the streetlight. My black stiletto heels crunched the brown leaves which covered the pavement. I believe it was mid October. Time didn’t matter anyways, nothing really did. 

 

When I finally got back to my usual spot (next to the corner store that some creepy Indian guy owned), I saw my friend Annie standing there. She sported a leather dress- shorter than mine - and black heels to match. Her dress was strapless, and honestly, it was really pretty. She must have stole it, because it looked so damn expensive. I walked over to her, happy to see a familiar face.

 

“Hey Annie.” I casually said. She turned to me. Her arms were crossed, and she was shivering. 

 

“Mikasa, I’m glad to see you.” Annie smiled wider than usual. Her blue eyes fixated on me.

 

“Why are you so happy?” I questioned. Why was anyone happy, really? I guess if your circumstances were different from mine you would be happy. I’m sure that man, whose name has slipped my mind, is happy. Annie went into her bra and pulled out a syringe. My eyes widened. Then my bewilderment turned into anger. How dare she? We promised ourselves to never do drugs again. We both almost died the last time. Why the fuck would she even look at drugs again. Annie seemed to notice my anger.

 

“Relax. I’m not going to OD any time soon. Come on, you only live once right?” Annie handed me the syringe. What a cliche thing to say. I don't want to get hooked onto this stuff again. I just shook my head and put it into my red sequin purse. Annie shrugged and turned away. We sat in silence next to each other for about an hour. Silence was comforting to both of us. 

 

Eventually a black SUV rolled up to us. The driver rolled down his window and pointed to me. I slowly walked up to the SUV and leaned my head in. The man was white and had blond hair. His eyebrows seemed a bit thick. His blue eyes told me he was an honest man, so why was he here? He sported a white button down shirt and Polo pants. 

 

“I’m sorry, but this is my first time doing this kinda thing,” his voice quivered, “I’m Erwin and, uh, what can I get for twenty bucks?” Sweat dripped from his face. I chuckled at his nervousness. Maybe this session will be better than the last. 

 

“I can give you a blowjob.” I harshly stated. I didn't try to come off cold and mean, it just happened. 

“Fine. Get in.” Erwin commanded. I got inside the SUV. He locked the doors and we drove off. Suddenly he went into his back pocket and pulled out a police badge. Fuck.


	2. Holding Cells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More characters are introduced and more things are revealed.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Just my luck. Before he said anything I nodded, indicating that nothing needed to be said. I looked outside the window and observed the rushing buildings as well as the few people. The world seemed to be just fine. Everyone seemed to be happy, or I assumed they were anyways. 

 

It took about ten minutes but we got to the police station. This was my first time getting arrested so I was not sure about standard procedure. Annie has been arrested before and she told me it’s best to not say anything. The less you say, the faster you get out. Erwin read me my miranda rights on the way to the station. I wasn't paying attention. My mind was off into another world. 

 

When he got out of the car he opened my door and handcuffed me. It wasn't like I was going to attempt to escape or anything. What’s the point? Erwin led me into the police station and handcuffed me to a bench. 

 

“Now stay there.” Erwin commanded. His whole demeanor changed. His voice no longer shaky but confident, strong. I was in his world now, and that’s just how he liked it. The station was warm, and looked almost broken down. The city didn’t fund it much anymore. The taxpayers want to keep their money in their pockets. The truth was there is so much crime in this fucking town. No one gave a shit except for the police. 

 

Erwin was at a nearby desk filling out paperwork of some sort. On top of his desk, my purse. Shit. The fucking syringe. I’m a fucking idiot. I sighed at the realization that I might be spending a night or two in jail. 

 

“You again?” Erwin looked up from his desk annoyed. I turned my head to see a short man, a woman with glasses, and a boy no older than me. The short man had a timeless face for his age I couldn’t pin. His eyes gave off the feeling that he was bored. He had a piercing in the right eyebrow as well as several on the left ear. His hair short and black. The woman had long, brown hair put into a messy ponytail. She was significantly taller than the man -well most people were. She seemed to be the happiest person in the room. Finally, the boy was black -haired with turquoise green eyes. He was taller than the man but the name had control over him. He looked like the dominant type. The boy looked familiar. Who is he?

 

“Hi Erwin. Long time no see.” The boy growled. The man almost threw him on the bench. He was handcuffed to the other side of it. 

 

“What did you do this time?” Erwin questioned. 

 

“Yeager here was spray painting the walls again,” The man answered while looking at the boy. 

 

“You know you can’t do that,” The woman stated harshly.

 

“Yeah whatever,” The boy rolled his eyes. 

 

“What is she in for?” The man asked. Erwin glared at me. 

 

“Prostitution,” Erwin stated simply. “Levi, Hanji, I can’t stay late tonight. I’ll process these two later just put them in the holding cell.” Erwin said something under his breath. He grabbed his long, black coat and suitcase. He headed to the door in a hurry. What was so important? Nothing that concerned me anyways. 

 

“Hanji, put these two in the holding cell.” Levi rolled his eyes. He walked slowly to the desk in the front. As if every step was a precise, perfect measurement. His police uniform was much cleaner than Hanji’s. Hanji’s stained with coffee and food while Levi’s was perfectly clean and ironed. Hanji smiled and un-cuffed and led me to the holding cell along with the boy. 

 

“Fuck you,” The boy spat. 

 

“C’mon Eren as much as you are in here we should be best friends!” She skipped away towards Levi. The station was quite small so I was able to see them from where I was, but I couldn’t hear their conversation. 

 

“Fucking cunt,” Eren sat down on the metal bench inside the cell. I sat at the other edge, getting as far away as I could. He sported a dark green hoodie and ripped jeans. His eyes seemed taken over by rage. His teeth, clenched and his fists rolled up into balls. I flinched when he banged his fist on the bench. “Who are you?”

 

“Mikasa,” I replied. 

 

“So prostitution huh?” He said as if I would elaborate on the subject with detail. 

 

“Yeah.” Nope. I would not go into my personal life. He wouldn’t care anyways. No one really does and no one will. The irritating silence between us was not relaxing like Annie’s and I’s. It was much more awkward. “I take it you’re here a lot?” 

 

“These people don’t appreciate art,” Eren smirked. His eyes lit up, and he looked over towards me. " I want to be an artist. A real one. Don't you like art?" I shrugged. I never really cared about art to be honest. "Whatever. You seem cool anyways."

 

"Thanks," I replied, my voice more monotone than usual. 

 

"So why are you in this business?" Eren bluntly asked. Why was I in this profession? I haven't thought about it in a while. I don't want to think about it. "Are you gonna tell me or not?" 

 

I sighed, "My mother was killed by people trying to rob us. My dad was never the same after that. He started to drink a lot. He hit me a few times..." I trailed off. I looked over at Eren, whom was now right next to me, his smile gone. His face stern. 

 

"People like that shouldn't live," Eren whispered. He balled his right hand into a fist. 

 

"No really it's fine. Rough time for both of us. He just coped differently than most," I retorted. 

 

"Don't make excuses for scum," Levi demanded. I looked up and saw him standing in front of the cell. How long was he even there? What did he hear? Levi continued, "What he did was wrong. You need to accept that." I looked down and gritted my teeth. I felt everyone's gaze upon me. 

 

"Levi come look at this," Hanji called. I heard Levi's foot steps dissipate. I felt a hand pat my back. A sign of comfort I suppose. 

 

"It's going to be alright, Mikasa," Eren whispered in a voice so low I could barely hear it. At the time I didn't believe him. I have been given false hope too many times. 

 

"Mikasa, is it?" I heard Levi ask from outside the cell. 

 

"Yeah," I replied. 

"Explain this." I looked up and saw Levi holding a syringe. The look on his face was disappointment. Dammit Annie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. School is really kicking my ass. ;-; Also I enjoy shorter chapters in all honesty.

**Author's Note:**

> Next time she meets Levi.


End file.
